Because Of You
by jsscnrmn
Summary: One-Shot Fiction. Song Because of you by Kelly Clarkson. I'm not going to mention much in the summary as I have explained it all in the story, but I do hope you enjoy it, and please let me know what you think by reviewing. XD


**So, I deleted What You Don't Know because I keep getting ideas for another story that won't leave me alone, and although at first I had all these great ideas for WYDK I didn't want to rush straight into it and I was struggling with the build up. This is one of many one-shot's I have in mind, and it's a lot to do with things I had planned for WYDK. I always had the idea of Sam being a very vulnerable, lost little girl behind the mask of courage and fearlessness, so I will probably play around with that in my one-shots. Also, a key for this one-shot: **_italics_ **are a flashback, and 'bold' sentences are song lyrics.** **I hope you enjoy, please review letting me know what you think as this is my first one-shot and I'm not too sure whether it's ok. **

Because Of You

**I cannot cry****  
****because I know that's weakness in your eyes****  
****I'm forced to fake****  
****a smile, a laugh, every day of my life**

"_You're my special girl, you know that don't you Samantha," dad's arm was around my shoulder, and I looked up at him. We were sitting on the sofa, the remains of our fish and chips sitting on the floor along with the many sweet wrappers, and we were watching Saturday night TV. _

"_You're my favourite you know that right?" He continued and I grinned, no one had ever spoken to me like this before, mum and dad had always said that they had no favourites, and that Katy and I were equal._

"_Come on then, let's get you up to bed, its 11:30." He said, and I sighed as I got up off of the sofa._

"_Dad," I whined, but he wasn't buying it. I headed up the stairs to the bathroom, where I cleaned my teeth, washed my face and moisturised. I turned around to see dad standing looking at me, so I walked into my room and climber into my bed. The freshly washed aroma from my bed covers was relaxing. I had spent the whole night in my 'pyjamas' and so getting into bed was quicker than usual. Dad kissed me goodnight, then he kissed me again._

"_Do you want to play a game?" He asked me and I shrugged, so he kissed me again. He pulled back my covers and…_

**Because of you****  
****I never strayed too far from the sidewalk****  
****because of you****  
****I learned to play on the safe side****  
****so I don't get hurt**

I gasped when I woke, staring up at the ceiling. Tom was sleeping peacefully to my right, his usual thunderous snores which most nights escaped him, weren't there. To my left, the digital alarm clocks bright red numbers read 03:21, so I peeled back the duvet and slipped off of the bed. I pulled one of Tom's t-shirts over my head, and I headed through to the living area, where the kitchen was at one end and the living room at the other. There was a dining table in between the two ends. I made my way over to a cupboard and pulled out a bottle of vodka, which I carried over to the sofa.

_As we waited in the hallway of Carrie's rather grand house, dad leant down and whispered into my ear._

"_Last night, was our little secret Samantha. If you tell your mum, or if you tell Katy, you will be taken away, and you won't see either of them ever again." I felt a chill run down my spine as his cold breath tickled my ear. Katy came bounding down the stairs and jumped into dad's arms and he lifted her into a hug. Her rucksack of things was hanging on her shoulder. Dad placed her back down and we left the house._

**Because of you****  
****I find it hard to trust****  
****not only me, but everyone around me****  
****Because of you, I am afraid**

"Sam, Sam we need to get to work!" Tom said as he woke me up. He had removed the bottle of vodka from my hands and placed it on the coffee table. I got up off of the sofa and showered, before getting changed into my white t-shirt and skinny jeans. I didn't bother with breakfast; I didn't feel up to it, although Tom had a bacon sandwich. When we got to work, Nick wanted to see me in his office.

"_This is your fault Samantha, you're a dirty little slapper you know that? You and your revealing little outfits, you're seducing me! How am I supposed to resist such a beautiful little slut like you hm? We both know that's never going to happen, and you'll never change will you? You're dirt, you always will be." His voice slightly scared me; he was spitting his words like they were venom. I knew it wasn't my fault, it wasn't, it wasn't, but the more I think about it the more I knew he was right. I've never tried to stop him; I've always let him do it. You could argue that sometimes I might even enjoy it. _

**You never thought of anyone else****  
****you just saw your pain****  
****and now I cry, in the middle of the night****  
****for the same damn thing**

"Sam?" Nick's hesitant and heartily voice disturbed me from my thoughts. I looked straight into his eyes, a look of pity, and of sadness also. "Did you hear me?" He asked and I looked down before giving him a slight shake of my head.

"It's your dad, he was found dead in his flat in Spain; apparently he had a heart attack." Nick told me and I nodded.

"Did he suffer?" I asked and he shook his head. "Have you told Katy?"

"Yeah," he replied and I gave him an 'and?' look. "She didn't take it too badly." I nodded and shone him a brief smile, before leaving the office. I put the thought to the back of my mind and the rest of the day went on like any other.

"_Samantha! Why can you never tidy up after yourself? You're awful; I don't know where you get it from!" Mum was picking up the sweet wrappers lying on the floor from the night before. I stood in the doorway and she brushed past me to put the wrappers in the bin in the kitchen. She came back through and sat down on the floor behind Katy. She began to plait Katy's hair and I walked in._

"_Mum, can I…" I began but she glared at me._

"_Samantha, I spending some quality time with your sister, can I wait?" She asked and I nodded slightly, before running up the stairs._

**Because of you****  
****I never strayed too far from the sidewalk****  
****Because of you****  
****I learned to play on the safe side****  
****so I don't get hurt**

"Sam, can I have a word with you in the office?" She asked and I nodded. I followed her through, and Connie was sitting at her desk. "Connie, can you give us a minute?"

"Yeah, yeah of course," the consultant half-smiled and she picked up the file she'd been reading and left the room. Nick had clearly told Zoe about my dad, but it was as if she didn't know what to say. I suppose I wouldn't know either. It wasn't long ago that she'd found out about it all, and it was only two days ago that Katy's bastard of a boyfriend announced it to the pub load of all my colleagues.

**Because of you****  
****I find it hard to trust****  
****not only me, but everyone around me****  
****Because of you, I am afraid**

"Sam," Zoe finally broke the awkward tension between the pair of us. "Are you ok? I mean, it can't be easy can it?" Zoe asked me, but my only response was to look at her. I think I came across more harshly than I meant to, and she breathed deeply. "I suppose it's easier now he's gone, you can get your head straight about things, and you know he'll never come back." Zoe told me but I shook my head. "All us lot can help you get over it, me, Nick, Tom, Katy…" However I continued shaking my head.

**Because of you****  
****I tried my hardest just to forget everything****  
****Because of you****  
****I don't know how to let anyone else in**

"You don't get it do you? You can't help me because I'm messed up! He is never going to away, he's always here! He's always in my mind!" A tear rolled down my cheek, and then another, I didn't try and stop them. Zoe reached out to hug me, but I pushed her away. She looked me in the eye, before trying again, and this time I accepted it. I held onto her as if when I let go she was going to fade away. I felt my knees giving way, and I couldn't help myself as I began to fall to the floor. Zoe went with me, she continued to hold me. She was holding me the way my mother should have, the way I'd always wanted her to. Zoe pulled away and held my head in her hands. She too now had tear stains on her cheeks.

**Because of you****  
****I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty****  
****Because of you, I am afraid**

"Listen to me," she began. "We can help you, I can help you! Things will get better, I promise you!" And she pulled me close to her; I put my head in my hands, while hers were on my back, rubbing it gently.

"Everything is going to be ok. Maybe not today, or tomorrow, but it will. I promise you."

**Because of you…**


End file.
